Lisbon Shibari Sessions

The sensations of being in bondage vary wildly from person to person (which is part of the beauty of this art form). It depends on how the rope is laid on your body, the intention behind it, what both parties bring to the space physically, mentally and emotionally, your level of sensitivity to discomfort… there are so many factors that feed into your response. Sexual energy, power exchange and pain are optional. The laying of rope has its own sensation depending on the intention of the rigger – it can be soft, tickly, caressing, rough, harsh or even painful. Being in rope, depending on the tie, can range from experiencing a light pressure, to experiencing a fair amount of discomfort, especially if your body is forced into uncomfortable shapes. Being suspended again is an entire universe on its own, depending on how you have been tied. It can range from feeling like you are floating on a cloud to feeling like you to are about to die (fight/flight/freeze response). Emotionally, there is also a wide range of responses – all are valid. Being untied is invariably always a release, but there is room to play with the timing and intention around this release.

When you consent to a rope bondage experience as a newbie or as an experienced bottom, you are consenting to being taken on a journey. Neither you nor I know how the experience will turn out for you. You are not consenting to a specific list of activities, but rather to a process of discovery. As am I as the person tying. You are consenting to a process where the risks are outlined for you. You can expect that space will be held for whatever emotions and sensations are generated for you. Each session is unique and will involve communication of desires, management of expectations and mitigation of risks both physical and emotional. We will discuss what our responsibilities are towards one another. We will discuss our physical abilities. We will not make assumptions, rather we will discuss all that we can think of beforehand. We will enter into the space together with the knowledge that there are variables that we cannot account for, but that as and when issues arise, we will meet them with empathy, communication and calm. This is what you are consenting to as a newbie being tied by me.

It is important to recognise and appreciate the erotic roots of bondage, and honour and respect that it is an erotic practice. That said, it does have benefits and practitioners outside of the sexual paradigm. For some, it is about pushing their bodies not unlike engaging in strenuous exercise or extreme sports. For some it is a way to reclaim their agency after trauma. For some it is a way to experience connection with others without the scripts and expectations associated with genital contact. As long as what you are doing is consensual and intentional, I consider it healthy and valid.

I consider myself fairly open-minded and open to being asked to perform acts, and will never be offended at a question. That said, I am not open to the following in the context of a session:

• Bi-directional touch (i.e. touch is one way, from me to you)
• Kissing
• Any acts wherein you would touch or penetrate my genitals
• Any form of toilet play
• Medical play
• Consumption of drugs or alcohol

No. I am not a trained therapist. Sessions are spaces for learning to listen with the body. If this is something that is incidentally therapeutic for you, great! But please do not set the expectations of trauma resolution or release for our session. Come curious, not expectant.

Like everything related to bondage, there are no right or wrong answers here. Personally, it is easier for me to tie on bare skin (rope just grips bare skin better). Clothing is a very charged and intimate expression culturally speaking, and it can be fun to play with different ideas related to clothing (my favourite being themes of exposure). If you want to remove the clothing variable but still want to be somewhat clothed, you are welcome to wear underwear or form-fitting clothing. As a general rule, I prefer that people don’t wear any jewelry, as this can get in the way and/or cause circulation-related discomfort. I also love long hair and including it in play, so if you are not okay with having your hair included in the journey it might be a good idea to tie it up, as it could become an unintended casualty of the shenanigans.